Why It’s So Hard To Stop Binge Eating!

Unless you’re suffering from an eating disorder, it’s hard to understand why you’re reluctant to give it up. In the end I had two choices; to recover or die.

I had DOUBTS about stopping my eating disorder!

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Junk Food Were My Best Friends!

Someone recently asked me what was the reason why I wanted to recover from my eating disorder.

If you’re reading this, it may seem like an obvious question.

BUT for those who are suffering from an unhealthy relationship with food such as binge eating, they’ll understand that this question isn’t as EASY as it seems…

First, food = comfort.

At times of sadness… cakes were my friends…

When I had a breakup… Danish pastries and Krispy Kremes were to the rescue!

During the times my parents lectured me, junk food like take-away Chinese soothed my wounds away…

When my boss drove me crazy, Mars bars, KitKats, Maltesers sweetened things up for me…

At times when, well…just… I had nothing else to do… McDonalds and Burger King filled that gap.

You see, when I had an unhealthy relationship with food, RECOVERY was SCARY!!!

Recovery meant, WTF do I do when I feel sad, hurt, depressed, bored or just…

What happens… well, then…?

I Was Afraid To Stop My Eating Disorder...

I was AFRAID if I STOPPED my eating disorder, that I would get REALLY FAT!

If I STOPPED my ED, would I know what else to do with my life?

I was AFRAID if I STOPPED my ED, I wouldn’t be able to COPE!!!

So, what was the REASON that I finally decided to STOP?

WHAT motivated me to STOP?

Because I DID try.

Oh F¥CK I F¥CKING tried sooooooo hard!

COUNTLESS times.

BUT… with EVERY. SINGLE. FAILED. attempt, the MORE I went into DARKNESS.

I was neither alive or dead.

I Had Had Enough

After 22 years, I was on the verge of killing myself. And I don’t mean just the affects of the eating disorder, or the abuse I was subjecting my body through. No, I mean, I wanted to end my life!

I felt numb.

I didn’t know who I was anymore.

Everyday was just a cycle of binges and purges.

Everyday was exhausting.

I hated myself.

BUT in the end, I only had two choices…

It was either recover or kill myself.

But then I couldn’t cope with the idea of leaving my parents, my best friend sister and my beautiful niece and nephew, the grief of me leaving them like that. (BEFORE I found a partner and BEFORE I had my daughter).

I felt trapped.

Wanting to leave this world but also not to be selfish.

I Chose Life

So, one day, I decided, enough was enough!

I learned about the mind, and understood WHY I did what I did.

And now I’m glad I didn’t end it.

Now, my daughter is the reward.

Now I want to LIVE by example and I NEVER want her to EVER see any unhealthy eating behaviours.

I also now LIVE to help other people to FREE themselves from this horrible DIETING or life destroying cycle nightmare they’re trapped in.

So now, I LIVE for anyone who NEEDS my help💞

If you wanna BREAK free from whatever soul destroying habit you’ve gotten yourself mixed up in, so you can FEEL what it’s like to LIVE, to REALLY be ALIVE?… I can help.

At times of sadness, what do you reach for to comfort you?

What are you afraid or scared about when you think about recovery?

Can you think of the loved ones you cannot bear to leave behind?

I’d love to hear your stories by sharing your comments below.